How to build your own neural “Net”
Have you ever left a conversation with a powerful insight, only to realise a week later that you don’t remember its specifics?
Many leaders collect moments like that, whether it’s a breakthrough in a coaching session, a difficult meeting that uncovers something about their leadership, or even a small success that hints at a new capability.
Each piece carries value, yet when these insights stay in isolation, the lesson gets lost. I believe that performance improves when you connect those fragments.
In neuroscience, learning strengthens through association. Neural pathways become more robust when experiences, emotions and insights link together into a coherent pattern. The brain is constantly searching for these connections.
Reflection activates metacognition - the ability to observe and refine our own thinking - which allows experience to become learning. This is why reflection plays such a powerful role in leadership development.
When you connect the dots, you build a network (or “Net”) of meaning.
Introducing the RAIN exercise
One of the tools I frequently use with leaders is the RAIN exercise.
Originally developed in mindfulness practice and later adopted in high-performance environments, RAIN provides a structured way to pause, reflect and understand what’s happening internally during moments that matter.
Capturing these reflections reveals behavioural signals, emotional responses and performance insights.
RAIN is an acronym for four steps:
- Recognise
Notice what’s happening in the moment. This could be a success, a reaction or a shift in energy.
- Acknowledge
Name the experience and the emotion associated with it. Writing this down brings clarity to what might otherwise remain vague or invisible.
- Investigate
Explore what contributed to the outcome. What influenced the situation? What behaviours, thoughts or conditions played a role?
- Nurture
Identify what you could repeat, adjust or experiment with next time.
In its simplest form, RAIN becomes a performance journal. (Athletes often complete several entries per day during intense training blocks. Before long, the entries uncover connections that form a playbook for performance.)
Discover the patterns in your Net
Once you accumulate these reflections, you come to recognise which situations help you to perform at your best, which environments support your thinking and which triggers affect your reactions.
Another useful practice is revisiting previous notes or reflections. When these insights are mapped together - visually or conceptually - recurring themes pop up.
Think about:
- What you found most beneficial
- Moments that significantly influenced your growth
- What you may have approached differently or could enhance going forward
This process transforms isolated moments into a coherent network of learning, which becomes an effective source of self-awareness.
Connecting the dots in practice
One of my coaching clients, a 40-year-old engineer at Salesforce, began using the RAIN exercise during our coaching engagement.
Over several weeks, patterns emerged around when his performance felt strongest and when his energy dropped. By connecting these observations, he adjusted his approach, ultimately increasing his confidence, improving stakeholder engagement and, most importantly, expanding his self-awareness.
He finally understood the recipe behind his best work.
How to activate your own Net
Insight alone doesn’t change behaviour. Action does. When connections become clear, you’re able to define the conditions that enable strong performance and intentionally recreate them.
This may mean adjusting how you structure conversations, preparing differently for key decisions or designing your workday around moments of focus and reflection.
Here’s an action-oriented roadmap to activate your Net:
- Outline specific, actionable steps from your Net.
- Define how you’ll integrate these steps into daily practices and interactions.
- Find additional resources to leverage throughout the rest of your journey.
Over time, the Net becomes a guide for how to lead, decide and perform. Each entry adds another thread to the network, gradually revealing how your thinking, emotions and actions influence one another.
The simplest possible way to start
To experiment with this approach, start with a simple structure. At the end of the day, capture one moment that stood out.
Ask yourself:
- “What happened?”
- “What did I feel?”
- “What contributed to the outcome?”
- “What could I repeat next time?”
As time goes on, reflections begin to form your own performance map - a network of experiences that fosters future growth.
Remember, leadership development rarely comes from one big insight. More often, it emerges from connecting many small ones.
About the author
I’m Dorothée Oung, Executive Coach and Neuroleadership Expert. I work with senior leaders and executive teams to apply neuroscience in practical, results-driven ways. My goal is to guide emerging and established Neuroleaders through deliberate, evidence-based practices that elevate how they lead, think and show up in the world.
